The Holiday Pickle

This time of year, my roommates (boyfriend/cat) and I constantly argue about the importance our household will place on the holidays. I would like to place an extreme amount of importance by adding extra decorations, food, family, friends, and fun. They would like to place little (cat) to none (boyfriend.)

Nothing says "Christmas" like a Keanu Reeves meme. 

What my roommates don’t understand is that I am a girl who trick-or-treated until I was 19. Mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie run through my veins. I (honestly) thought Santa Clause was real well into my double digits. (I made it work somehow in my mind… i.e. He had helpers impersonate him. His sleigh was more like a rocket that had technology NASA didn’t yet.) Boyfriend says the holidays are used exploit us as consumers and “its disgusting” and all that. He also, as an agnostic, LOVES to call into question my religious beliefs whenever I’m like, “BUT IT’S CHRISTMAS!” I grew up religious, but it’s not those values that call to me around October. It’s the traditions. I’ll admit, I spend more money around this time of year, but it’s because I want to surround myself with the sights and sounds of the season and I want to give gifts that show people that I’m thinking about them. SOMETIMES, it gets a little stressful financially. And yes, people like Nicole Westbrook (See video below) happen and try to ruin Thanksgiving forever and it makes you sick. And yes, the ENDLESS car commercials where wife/husband receives car for Christmas but are disappointed because they REALLY wanted the car the commercial is advertising, are just the absolute worst and are a complete disconnect from most of the world.  AND Yes, Black Friday is a ploy to get us to spend more money than most of us planned and they’ve actually begun to mark prices back up (Best Buy) on Black Friday just to make even more money off of those who are “eager” enough to shop that day. BUT, some people actually enjoy the challenge and have made it a family activity and some people actually save a lot of money on an item they might not otherwise be able to afford. So…  hey, to each his own. I personally, will never participate because I don’t want to die being trampled by Wal-Mart Monkeys and because I like sleep and alcohol too much to wake up early/stay awake that long. And, quite frankly, I’ve never been asked to go.

"I didn't get the vintage day scarf I wanted."

Here’s what I’m saying: Religious or not and no matter what Holiday you celebrate, the weather’s cozy, the lights are pretty, the festivities are abundant, family time is at an all time high, eating is mandatory, and you get to give and RECEIVE presents! SO, all you critics better let the F up on all your “anti-establishment” research and learn to enjoy yourselves because if I am subject to one more story of an obscure example of extreme consumerism or anti-capitalist/anti-religious rants, I will personally rip the lensless, black-rimmed glasses right off your face and take that AND your ironic Elmo shirt, put it in my toilet, and I will take my morning shit on them.  And all you crazy consumers better not max out your credit cards for your ungrateful children or give a single gift card this year to take the easy route, because, guess what? That says, I had to get you a gift card because I didn’t care enough to think too hard about you. (That’s right. And no, not even if the gift card is for a massage. Do that shit yourself! It will mean more! Oh, a gift card for the movies? NOPE! Make a movie for someone and tell me they won’t talk about that for many, many Christmases to come!) Enjoy yourselves. Donate your time to someone. Do something nice for someone. Make something for someone. Make a special dinner. Watch a special movie. Do it all with the people you love and Fucking ENJOY YOURSELVES!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS from all of us here at Andrea Chesley: Blogger. 

PS. Try not to be too upset this happened..... 

Just be happy these things did happen....