

This last week, (JUST before my period, of course) after 3
days of depression, outbursts, and the decision to move to Montana (that I
later reneged on,) I sat my boyfriend down and explained to him, that I hated to admit it because I didn’t want this to be
his victory for every future fight, but MAYBE we had been fighting the last few
days and MAYBE I threatened to move his things out and MAYBE I threw the
contents of my purse all over our living room in an outburst BECAUSE I was……. PMS-ing.
This was so hard for me to admit. I mean, I’ve known for a long time that other girls
had PMS, but as you mature and try to gracefully enter your thirties, you start
to really notice in yourself the difference between normal and bat-shit crazy and even YOU,
as a strong and intelligent, talented woman, start to run out of ways to defend your
behavior. He smiled and smugly said, “I know.” ………… I went nuts. After a rant I
don’t remember, I ran into my room and cried.

My cat didn’t know what to do and neither did I. There’s no talking yourself out of bat-shit. Your hormones have you convinced that life really isn’t what you thought it was yesterday…. Or 3 minutes ago. After I came to my senses (because, to my dis-credit, it happens quickly,) I came out and he laughed as he said, “I can’t believe that after all this time that we’ve been together that you think I don’t know what THIS is.”
“OK, but I don’t want you to think that every time I’m upset, it means I’m hormonal and you automatically have the upper-hand.” I said and then admitted, “I don’t know how to deal with how I feel sometimes. Today, I hate our bed sheets and I don’t know why. Today, I almost introduced myself to the neighbors just to ask if I could move all your things into their house while you were gone just to give you a good scare when you got home. You know? So you’d know I was serious about breaking up with you. I know that’s nuts, but it felt so right! I hate myself.”

My cat didn’t know what to do and neither did I. There’s no talking yourself out of bat-shit. Your hormones have you convinced that life really isn’t what you thought it was yesterday…. Or 3 minutes ago. After I came to my senses (because, to my dis-credit, it happens quickly,) I came out and he laughed as he said, “I can’t believe that after all this time that we’ve been together that you think I don’t know what THIS is.”
“OK, but I don’t want you to think that every time I’m upset, it means I’m hormonal and you automatically have the upper-hand.” I said and then admitted, “I don’t know how to deal with how I feel sometimes. Today, I hate our bed sheets and I don’t know why. Today, I almost introduced myself to the neighbors just to ask if I could move all your things into their house while you were gone just to give you a good scare when you got home. You know? So you’d know I was serious about breaking up with you. I know that’s nuts, but it felt so right! I hate myself.”
“I don’t pretend to know what you go through. I bet it sucks
because, right now, you really suck. But, I love you.” He said.
We left the conversation unresolved. And I’ve got news for
you, there’ll never be resolution. We take "medicine" to "treat" the natural horror that
is our period. We take pills and shots and insert strange springy devices directly
into our vaginas to prevent our ovaries from doing what nature intended them. There
are male politicians that are trying to make laws based on the things we do and
don’t do to our bodies because we have been given the “oh so amazing” gift of
child birth. And as women, we will spend the rest of our lives apologizing for
our hormones because, let’s be honest, we do some really messed up shit. Well….
It fucking sucks. It really does. I’ve been a feminist since I could walk but I will not support a HILLARY 2016 ballot
unless she can provide evidence that all her hormone producing lady parts have
been removed or have stopped working!! (She’d have control over the
drones for crying out loud! Imagine if she had been President back in 1992 instead of Bill.... Monica Lewinsky's "disappearance" would still be unresolved, meanwhile there's a very unhappy intern in a hole in Guantanamo Bay.)
Ok, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. Go Hillary! But, as I sit here, taking the
first pill of yet, another month of birth control, I am sickened at even the
name “birth control.” And, Quite
frankly, I’m fet up. I know that ovaries are what make the world go ‘round. I
know that our lady genetic make-up allows us to be the empathetic, emotionally
aware, beautiful beings we are. It is, however, like being on a roller coaster
ride that you weren’t quite tall enough for. You move around too much in the
seat and are relieved, a little dizzy, and thankful for your life when the ride is over. But, you’re proud of yourself for doing it because at least half of the population will never
know what it feels like. Being girl is never boring, but it makes our job as
human beings a lot harder. If you've ever looked at yourself in the mirror and called yourself "a fat loser," you don't mean it. Its likely the opposite of the truth, so don't trust it.
I sometimes wish I was single and alone, with no family so I’d never have to apologize for my behavior, but that’s not a possibility (because, at least from what it sounds like, I’m so loveable) so for now, I apologetically and reluctantly deal with the repercussions of my “lady-like” behavior. You’re welcome for children, World.
I sometimes wish I was single and alone, with no family so I’d never have to apologize for my behavior, but that’s not a possibility (because, at least from what it sounds like, I’m so loveable) so for now, I apologetically and reluctantly deal with the repercussions of my “lady-like” behavior. You’re welcome for children, World.
And what does this post have to do with its namesake, the movie “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles?” Nothing, but I FUCKING LIKE HOLIDAY MOVIES, ALRIGHT?! J
You kill me and Amen! Seriously, you think that you get crazy PMSing then pregnancy is one climbing slope of crazy and then six weeks post baby wicked coaster ride! Poor women indeed, but this second time around I feel bad for the men around. Brent is petrified of pregnant women, as he should be, but it does suck to not be able to talk yourself down from the crazy because you are right. It does feel so right at the time.
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